Jakob

Does anyone even read this anymore ;) ??

I'm not sure, even if nobody does, I think I should start posting.  As if I have time!  My last post was about leaving CAN... that was-August?  Wow!!!

We have our son!  Home!!!  There have been 10 million emotions and 10 million valleys and even more mountains.   It is impossible to put it all into words.

We love him so much.  We are spelling his name "Jakob" because that is how it is spelled in his Lingala (native language) bible.  Some days have been so easy and smooth sailing and some I've worried he will not like us for what we've done, bringing him into our family-am I going to ruin him? (poor Joe and the mid-day phone calls)  These are really really low lows.  This is Satan attacking; I know this.  But all of these emotions are very very real and very raw.  It is all so beautiful and all so messy... it will take time.

The good news is, he is attaching so well.  He attached to us around day 3 in DRC.  This is AMAZING because he never spoke to an adult the whole 7 or so months in foster care.  He talked to Joe the 2nd day?  God did that.  I think my greatest epiphany through this experience is that children need a family.  Government institutions will never fill the void they need.  Yes, they can survive, but a child shouldn't have to "survive," but thrive! (And in the DRC, many are not even surviving).  Some may say a child should stay in their own culture, surrounded by people who speak their language, etc.  Well, this would be great in a perfect world, but a child needs a family, no matter what their skin color or language is.  I don't think anyone could say anything to ever change my mind on this, not after we saw Jakob blossom after finally having a mom and dad.  It was something I knew in my head and now something I truly know in my heart.

Julia and Jakob are the best of besties.  He mimics every single thing she does when eating, when playing, when watching cartoons.  It is hilarious!!!  She tries to mother him a little too much sometimes but it is just absolutely adorable-poor kid.  Today she insisted she help him buckle his car seat so she did, patted his hand, kissed his forehead and said, "love you honey!"  He is so blessed to have her as a sister.  I am so blessed to have her here during the day when all Jakob wants to do is cry and all I want to do is cry along!!!  Seriously, am I a two year old?  Being completely transparent here.  But I can get frustrated (as I'm sure he is as well) when a language barrier gets between us.  This happened yesterday and she came up to him as he was cryyyiiinnnngggg and I just kept trying to say the same thing in lingala over and over in my as calm as possible american accent and she rubbed his back and said, "it's okay!" to the two of us. Thank you, Julia, for reminding me that all I probably need to do sometimes is hold him and be quiet because now surely isn't the time for reasoning in 2 different languages, or 3 if you count my lingalish.  What a blessing she is!  Bringing her momma back to the basics.

I'm so thankful we listened to the still small voice that told us adoption was how we should add to our family.  It took us so long looking at domestic, foster care, foster to adopt, then international, and all the countries that are included in that.  DRC wasn't even on our list because of the "5 year married" rule.  when we switched agencies is about the time they say Jakob was abandoned, shortly after we were matched with him.  Perfect timing to meet our son on that computer screen.  He was ready for us and we were ready for him.  Deep heartbreak for Jakob and pure joy for us. It is terrible it works that way.

Please pray for him in this transition, that he will continue to attach and know we are his family.  We don't know his story, we only know he was abandoned in a field sometime around June of 2012.  We don't know what he remembers, how long he was in that field, who put him there, was it night time?  Did he cry?  Is that when he stopped talking?  Or was it before, when he was with whoever had him prior?  Did he have a momma who loved on him and covered in kisses?  Was she ill?  Is that why he was left in a field?  Did he wander off and become extremely lost?  My mind can wander and worry... As much as I would like to know the answers to the questions, and yes, I really would, I've found peace knowing the Lord knows and that is enough.  The Lord knows every nightmare, good memory, bad memory, negative reactions related to forgotten memories, and that is good enough.  He has gotten us this far, I don't see him abandoning us now, as we are truly just beginning.

Praise God for this journey; sometimes I still look at our family and laugh because it just seems so surreal that we traveled to Africa and brought a son home.  It surely isn't for the faint of heart, but Jakob has only added to our already overflowing cup!

Jakob's foster sister brought him to our hotel.  Such a sweetheart and he was really attached to her!

Once brought up to our room, Jakob stood in the same spot for about 45 minutes without moving a finger, batting an eye.  We gave him the soda bottle of Africa Fun he was clinging to when brought to us and he gulped the rest of it down like a pro.  Point 1 for us!

First Daddy-Son pic

First Momma-Son pic

 And so you see the transformation...

More pics to come; of course we have so many more!!!!