I actually just posted a draft I had from months ago. So much has happened and been on the rocks that it sometimes never seems to be sure enough to post an update. Not sure if that sentence made sense but hopefully you understand.
We left Children of All Nations. There were a few reasons and if anyone wants more details I could try to offer them personally, but we felt a little uneasy. But probably not uneasy like you're thinking, we felt uneasy about our son and where he was, we just weren't sure we were supposed to be with CAN anymore. We started finding people using DRC Adoption Services, an independent adoption consulting service. I could also give you more information about this and why we knew we were safe and trusted them. Amazingly, they have children waiting for families, not families waiting in line for children. There are so many orphans in DRC. As one new facebook friend encouraged, "Lindsey, there are way to many orphans to wait 2 years." So, we were uneasy. Not a complete peace anymore and we researched and researched. We told DRCAS we were signing up with them and 2 days later we saw our little boy's picture. Those big brown eyes, squishy little cheeks and striped Opie (that's for you, Mom) shirt. He was the one. If we had not switched to DRCAS, he wouldn't have been in our requested age range if we stayed with CAN, not to mention he wouldn't have been available to CAN.
That Sunday we heard a sermon in church talking about taking steps of faith, and boy was this one. The nail was hit on the head when he said, "sometimes you have to roll the stone away to see the gift of your step of faith" (referring to moving the stone from Jesus' tomb-must have sounded CRAZY!)
So we did and he is ours and we will call him Jacob :)-anyone catch the Nemo reference? haha... We still appreciate your prayers as there are always things that can go wrong. We think it will be wonderful to have him home by January (we were told a general 6 month timeline, which would put us at Feb). But at this point, just knowing it is happening is amazing. Seeing his face is overwhelming.
Want to know who his biggest fan is? Julia. I have seen her multiple times go up to someone on our street and say, "mmm baby brutter!" with the reply, "oooh!? You have a baby brother?" Julia will say, "mmhmmm! be right back." Then she will run into the house, get his picture and proudly display it to whomever will look. She's also asked for my phone to show the wallpaper pic if we aren't home. It warms my heart. That little girl is just too much. My heart overflows!
Things we've learned:
adoption is hard. it rarely goes easy.
God is in control and He will show you the path in His timing, and it isn't always straight!
I must continually pray to fall in love with his timing.
Those little nudges? Listen to them.
Friday, September 28, 2012
The CAN Family
One day it hit me that there are other Children of All Nations -DR Congo families out there and there had to be a way to find out where they are in their journey and we could hopefully support and encourage each other if we had a way to communicate. I started by finding an "adopting from DRC" yahoo group and introduced myself to all 500-something of them. I told them we were adopting through CAN, requested a 1-2 year old boy and especially hoped to connect with someone from CAN as well. God surely provided and a sweet gal emailed me and told me about the CAN DRC facebook group!!! It has been such a blessing to talk to these people although the only downside is I'm checking the page WAY too much to see if anyone has any insights to how quickly the process is moving along. Keep in mind, we were told that once our dossier lands in the Congo, it would take 6-12 months to receive a referral (heartbreak). I spoke with our CAN contact and found out we were the 17th dossier sent, and there were now 11 families ahead of us waiting for a referral. So we were # 12!!! Just a day or two later, my FB pal let us know she found out 2 other families received their referrals. We're now #10!!! It is the little things that make it seem more real. Knowing it will most likely not be a year from now till we find out his name, age, and see his sweet face just makes me want to jump for joy. Can I dare but hope that we will have him by Christmas? Now that will surely be a stretch, but a momma can dream.
Is it too early to get some really cool airplanes for his room? Start picking out fabric to sew his blanket? Nah...
We also just had 2 fundraisers. One was an awesome yard sale where friends and family donated a ton of items and we got to them sell to raise money. Last weekend we had our first of 2 One Less Photo Shoot in NKY/Cincinnati. My sister in law has recently started doing photography because she is AWESOME at it and she has such a big heart for her nephew she offered to take pics of families for a small donation. They turned out wonderful!!!! Here is a sneak peak:
In a couple weeks we will have a photo shoot for Louisville and I can't wait to see what Shannon does with these sweet families and this beautiful city. If you would like to see her blog, you can go here.
Last but not least, we've had some dear friends of ours send letters out to their family in hopes of raising us some money. We did not ask them to do this. And would you believe that their family members then sent out letters as well? We've received checks from people we have never met. Every single envelope has made me cry. I don't tear up, I cry. The Lord is showing us his heart for orphans and that he will provide the funds needed to set the solitary in families. I've realized this has absolutely nothing to do with us and that we are merely tools he is using to show his GLORY and his bright light in a world of sadness and disappointments. He is so good and he alone is worthy of our praise. My heart is so humbled to be his servant, I only hope we will always say, "Yes, Lord!"
Is it too early to get some really cool airplanes for his room? Start picking out fabric to sew his blanket? Nah...
We also just had 2 fundraisers. One was an awesome yard sale where friends and family donated a ton of items and we got to them sell to raise money. Last weekend we had our first of 2 One Less Photo Shoot in NKY/Cincinnati. My sister in law has recently started doing photography because she is AWESOME at it and she has such a big heart for her nephew she offered to take pics of families for a small donation. They turned out wonderful!!!! Here is a sneak peak:
In a couple weeks we will have a photo shoot for Louisville and I can't wait to see what Shannon does with these sweet families and this beautiful city. If you would like to see her blog, you can go here.
Last but not least, we've had some dear friends of ours send letters out to their family in hopes of raising us some money. We did not ask them to do this. And would you believe that their family members then sent out letters as well? We've received checks from people we have never met. Every single envelope has made me cry. I don't tear up, I cry. The Lord is showing us his heart for orphans and that he will provide the funds needed to set the solitary in families. I've realized this has absolutely nothing to do with us and that we are merely tools he is using to show his GLORY and his bright light in a world of sadness and disappointments. He is so good and he alone is worthy of our praise. My heart is so humbled to be his servant, I only hope we will always say, "Yes, Lord!"
Friday, May 4, 2012
There is so much to update on. My thoughts have been on all of these things I'm going to tell you, unless it is 12am, I don't have the time to write everything down! You should see my daily list of things to do... shoowee.
Our Dossier is supposed to be completed. This may change, because it has twice already. This has been such a frustrating part of the adoption-the sigh of relief that we are finished and only have to wait on others, then learning (or realizing) we are still. not. finished. Yeah, there are times in your life where things like this will happen, and the feeling is always frustration, but when it concerns your family, or, more specifically, one of your children coming home, it is enough to bring a momma to tears. Our most recent experience: all of our documents had been collected and sent to the agency. Our agency fees included the ability to send the dossier to CAN, then they send it to county/state governments to get sealed (this apparently is not common, a family must drive to get this done). Our adoption counselor sent everything off to be sealed and wrote us saying our birth certificates were rejected because the notary "expired." These certificates were only a couple months old!! But no worries, I had just ordered new ones and they already came in the mail. The next email, not even 10 minutes later, stated that we ordered incorrect wedding certificates. This was not our fault, but Ohio's fault because they just changed the law saying that the certificates must be signed by the judge, not just the deputy clerk. grrrrrrr. This and a reminder that the wait for a referral takes up to 12 months brought me to tears. There is nothing like going from the top of your game, getting shot twice then kicked in the gut. Maybe that is a little extreme but it is exactly how I felt that day. Since then we've sent in all the new documents and haven't heard anything. I'll take silence as a positive.
But God is taking care of us. A good friend reminded me that I would not get this time with "just Julia" back, so soak it all in. And that makes everything better. I love that little girl. She is my heart.
A week or so ago we had a mommy-daughter day at the zoo. We go to the zoo alot but I don't think we've ever gone just the two of us. I loved it. It was easily my favorite trip to date.
Doesn't she just melt your heart? I can't imagine having 2 babies to love this much. It will surely be a blessing.
We've also been overwhelmed by people that have come together to support us in our adoption. One of the biggest things that have happened lately is I've become a jeweler for Premier Designs. Can I just say I've secretly wanted to work for this company for a long time? I remember telling someone about that desire before Julia was born. I would used to go to shows with my mom and be so excited to be surrounded by the gorgeous pieces! Such a girly girl. So anyways, one day I approached a girl from church who is a consultant about ordering a piece for my mom's birthday (I look at it like supporting a local business or entrepreneur?) Now Christy and her husband adopted their sweet little boy so she has a huge heart for adoption. That girl offered to give us 100% of her profit. I was overwhelmed! This is one of the kindest things anyone had ever done for us. So I said yes. She also told me a little bit about the business opportunity but I wasn't too interested. I ended up going to a meeting where you listen to the business side of Premier and as a reward, you can order whatever you would like for 50% off. BINGO! Mom's gift. So I go, still not interested but I look at all the gorgeous pieces and start dreaming about having them for myself-yes, I took a purchase that was supposed to be about a gift for someone else and made it about me. haha! Well, I was enamored by all the beautiful jewels and couldn't help but think how FUN it would be to sell this product to raise money to bring our son home. One thing lead to another, details, details, God whispering, me questioning, Joe agreeing, and we signed up. I had an amazing debut show where Christy rocked and so many beautiful ladies showed up to support! God has been so good and the business has done very well! I'm so thankful for this opportunity, not only for the obvious reasons, but because I'm able to force myself to come out of my shell-in front of people! Yikes! Little by little, the Lord is helping me grow.
To be continued...
Our Dossier is supposed to be completed. This may change, because it has twice already. This has been such a frustrating part of the adoption-the sigh of relief that we are finished and only have to wait on others, then learning (or realizing) we are still. not. finished. Yeah, there are times in your life where things like this will happen, and the feeling is always frustration, but when it concerns your family, or, more specifically, one of your children coming home, it is enough to bring a momma to tears. Our most recent experience: all of our documents had been collected and sent to the agency. Our agency fees included the ability to send the dossier to CAN, then they send it to county/state governments to get sealed (this apparently is not common, a family must drive to get this done). Our adoption counselor sent everything off to be sealed and wrote us saying our birth certificates were rejected because the notary "expired." These certificates were only a couple months old!! But no worries, I had just ordered new ones and they already came in the mail. The next email, not even 10 minutes later, stated that we ordered incorrect wedding certificates. This was not our fault, but Ohio's fault because they just changed the law saying that the certificates must be signed by the judge, not just the deputy clerk. grrrrrrr. This and a reminder that the wait for a referral takes up to 12 months brought me to tears. There is nothing like going from the top of your game, getting shot twice then kicked in the gut. Maybe that is a little extreme but it is exactly how I felt that day. Since then we've sent in all the new documents and haven't heard anything. I'll take silence as a positive.
But God is taking care of us. A good friend reminded me that I would not get this time with "just Julia" back, so soak it all in. And that makes everything better. I love that little girl. She is my heart.
A week or so ago we had a mommy-daughter day at the zoo. We go to the zoo alot but I don't think we've ever gone just the two of us. I loved it. It was easily my favorite trip to date.
Doesn't she just melt your heart? I can't imagine having 2 babies to love this much. It will surely be a blessing.
We've also been overwhelmed by people that have come together to support us in our adoption. One of the biggest things that have happened lately is I've become a jeweler for Premier Designs. Can I just say I've secretly wanted to work for this company for a long time? I remember telling someone about that desire before Julia was born. I would used to go to shows with my mom and be so excited to be surrounded by the gorgeous pieces! Such a girly girl. So anyways, one day I approached a girl from church who is a consultant about ordering a piece for my mom's birthday (I look at it like supporting a local business or entrepreneur?) Now Christy and her husband adopted their sweet little boy so she has a huge heart for adoption. That girl offered to give us 100% of her profit. I was overwhelmed! This is one of the kindest things anyone had ever done for us. So I said yes. She also told me a little bit about the business opportunity but I wasn't too interested. I ended up going to a meeting where you listen to the business side of Premier and as a reward, you can order whatever you would like for 50% off. BINGO! Mom's gift. So I go, still not interested but I look at all the gorgeous pieces and start dreaming about having them for myself-yes, I took a purchase that was supposed to be about a gift for someone else and made it about me. haha! Well, I was enamored by all the beautiful jewels and couldn't help but think how FUN it would be to sell this product to raise money to bring our son home. One thing lead to another, details, details, God whispering, me questioning, Joe agreeing, and we signed up. I had an amazing debut show where Christy rocked and so many beautiful ladies showed up to support! God has been so good and the business has done very well! I'm so thankful for this opportunity, not only for the obvious reasons, but because I'm able to force myself to come out of my shell-in front of people! Yikes! Little by little, the Lord is helping me grow.
To be continued...
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Dossier and Julia Shmulia
We're right in the middle of the Dossier! We sent off our first of three mailers at the end of December (signed documents and agreements-notarized) and then received information for our second mailer.
By this time I was seriously wondering what more they could possibly want from us. We had given them so much information with our homestudy, which is included in the dossier. By the way, our awesome social worker finished our homestudy and it has been sent off to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) along with our I600A-petition to bring an orphan to the US from overseas. Once that has been accepted, the petition becomes a I171 or something of the sort, and travels to the DRC along with our dossier. This takes about 40-50 days. Somewhere in there we also receive instruction to get FBI fingerprints which are included in our dossier.
This second mailer consists of quite a few documents that you can do quickly and in your spare time (or at 5 in the morning because you can't sleep). We had to put together a letter about our family and why we want to adopt from the Congo, letter about our home, another about Joe, Julia and my personalities, etc. We also fill out our millionth financial record which is becoming a bit redundant--you have to make sure everything is the same, so however much was in our bank account when we first started our homestudy in August, must also be on our dossier and sent to USCIS in their future package (there is another). Anyhoo--it is all worth it. And our agency has made it so easy for us: detailed descriptions of the mailers, a packet on each specific document and how it should be worded, headers and footers, notarization, etc. Children of All Nations is amazing. I've emailed our international help there sometimes 5 times a day with picky questions and she always responds so quickly and kindly. So back to the dossier! We need to send out our Police background checks that we requested for our homestudy so this was easy--they were in our Adoption Assistance folder. We also send out our notarized marriage license, and birth certificates (all three of us). I need a notarized letter stating that I am unemployed, and Joe needs one stating that he is employed. His poor boss, this will be his second letter. We need a letter (on official company letterhead) from the insurance company stating that they will cover an adopted child. This letter has to be signed. Yesterday I called the official branch for insurance from Joe's work and they sent me to the official insurance office. They sent me back to my first call. Nobody will write us a letter. Instead they want to send us all the documentation included in our benefits packets but we don't get the letterhead and signature. This is a little frustrating. That is something we will tackle next week, 8am on Monday!
CAN sent out an email to all Congo parents, letting us know that they are looking to hire more employees that can be on the ground at their orphanages and set up referrals. This is awesome because hopefully the 9-12 month wait for a referral will go back down to 2-6, or whatever it was!
Not concerning the adoption, our baby Julia is not so much a baby anymore. I think we only have a few more months where she will have those babyish qualities and then will turn into a 'kid.' This beaks my heart! I have been proof over the last 2 years that it is hard to leave stages behind and move to the next, but that it is worth it and only becomes more exciting, but I'm not sure I can handle this one! This is a whole other era of her life! Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but she is my heart. It is happening so fast. I take every opportunity I can get to hold her and have her fall asleep in my arms at night before I put her in her crib, and every time she comes to me, reaches for my hand and takes me to her toys and pats the floor to sit down, I do it. Of course if my hands are covered in raw chicken I don't, but I have a hard time worrying that she thinks mommy cooks and cleans too much. And our house definitely doesn't show that I clean too much! Ha! Do any other mommies out there struggle with this? She will be 2 in April and I am so, so, so thankful for the time we've spent together. I wouldn't trade any day of tantrums and time outs for ANYTHING. I look forward to learning more about the personality God gave her before she was even created, but please pray for me as we leave a stage behind and move to another!
By this time I was seriously wondering what more they could possibly want from us. We had given them so much information with our homestudy, which is included in the dossier. By the way, our awesome social worker finished our homestudy and it has been sent off to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) along with our I600A-petition to bring an orphan to the US from overseas. Once that has been accepted, the petition becomes a I171 or something of the sort, and travels to the DRC along with our dossier. This takes about 40-50 days. Somewhere in there we also receive instruction to get FBI fingerprints which are included in our dossier.
This second mailer consists of quite a few documents that you can do quickly and in your spare time (or at 5 in the morning because you can't sleep). We had to put together a letter about our family and why we want to adopt from the Congo, letter about our home, another about Joe, Julia and my personalities, etc. We also fill out our millionth financial record which is becoming a bit redundant--you have to make sure everything is the same, so however much was in our bank account when we first started our homestudy in August, must also be on our dossier and sent to USCIS in their future package (there is another). Anyhoo--it is all worth it. And our agency has made it so easy for us: detailed descriptions of the mailers, a packet on each specific document and how it should be worded, headers and footers, notarization, etc. Children of All Nations is amazing. I've emailed our international help there sometimes 5 times a day with picky questions and she always responds so quickly and kindly. So back to the dossier! We need to send out our Police background checks that we requested for our homestudy so this was easy--they were in our Adoption Assistance folder. We also send out our notarized marriage license, and birth certificates (all three of us). I need a notarized letter stating that I am unemployed, and Joe needs one stating that he is employed. His poor boss, this will be his second letter. We need a letter (on official company letterhead) from the insurance company stating that they will cover an adopted child. This letter has to be signed. Yesterday I called the official branch for insurance from Joe's work and they sent me to the official insurance office. They sent me back to my first call. Nobody will write us a letter. Instead they want to send us all the documentation included in our benefits packets but we don't get the letterhead and signature. This is a little frustrating. That is something we will tackle next week, 8am on Monday!
CAN sent out an email to all Congo parents, letting us know that they are looking to hire more employees that can be on the ground at their orphanages and set up referrals. This is awesome because hopefully the 9-12 month wait for a referral will go back down to 2-6, or whatever it was!
Not concerning the adoption, our baby Julia is not so much a baby anymore. I think we only have a few more months where she will have those babyish qualities and then will turn into a 'kid.' This beaks my heart! I have been proof over the last 2 years that it is hard to leave stages behind and move to the next, but that it is worth it and only becomes more exciting, but I'm not sure I can handle this one! This is a whole other era of her life! Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but she is my heart. It is happening so fast. I take every opportunity I can get to hold her and have her fall asleep in my arms at night before I put her in her crib, and every time she comes to me, reaches for my hand and takes me to her toys and pats the floor to sit down, I do it. Of course if my hands are covered in raw chicken I don't, but I have a hard time worrying that she thinks mommy cooks and cleans too much. And our house definitely doesn't show that I clean too much! Ha! Do any other mommies out there struggle with this? She will be 2 in April and I am so, so, so thankful for the time we've spent together. I wouldn't trade any day of tantrums and time outs for ANYTHING. I look forward to learning more about the personality God gave her before she was even created, but please pray for me as we leave a stage behind and move to another!
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| 6 months |
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| Julia's first birthday |
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